


Frank Conversations

by nanuk_dain



Series: The Tales of Ray the Highly Affectionate Ninja Kitty and Tim the Freaking Adorable Puppy [4]
Category: Generation Kill
Genre: Banter, Conversation, Cuddling & Snuggling, DADT, Feelings, Fluff, Getting Together, Honesty, Humor, Introspection, M/M, Making Out, POV Tim, Ray being Ray, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-14 10:33:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28793970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nanuk_dain/pseuds/nanuk_dain
Summary: Tim spends the weekend with Ray and finds himself falling for himhardandfucking fast. He certainly didn't expectthatwhen he let Brad talk him into carrying Ray and his bummed ankle home.
Relationships: Timothy Bryan/Ray Person
Series: The Tales of Ray the Highly Affectionate Ninja Kitty and Tim the Freaking Adorable Puppy [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1988506
Comments: 5
Kudos: 15





	Frank Conversations

**Author's Note:**

  * For [military_bluebells](https://archiveofourown.org/users/military_bluebells/gifts).



> Here we go with the fourth part, and this time you get Tim's side of things, which I think you'll find insightful ;D Enjoy!
> 
> And as always this part is for my dear **military_bluebells**. There are a few nods to [different sizes of the same boot](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26932888), I'm sure you'll recognise them ;D I really hope you like this POV and the infos we get from Tim and what he's thinking about it all. Maybe I managed to hit a few more kinks? ;D

Tim sinks back in the pillow with a content sigh, his eyes closed, and just a second later he feels a lean, strong body settle down on top of him. Ray's head comes to rest on Tim's chest and his nose immediately nestles against Tim's neck, and then Ray relaxes all his muscles with a profound sigh of pleasure until he's a dead weight on Tim's body. 

He really _is_ light, Tim thinks when he settles his hands on Ray's waist and slowly traces his fingers over the skin of his sides and back. Way _too_ light for his height, but that makes it very comfortable to have him covering Tim from head to toe like a warm human blanket. It's exactly what Tim wants right now: The soothing pleasure of having as much physical contact with Ray as possible, the intimacy of warm bare skin on warm bare skin, of feeling Ray breathe, of sensing his heart beat where his chest is pressed to Tim's. It's a kind of closeness Tim profoundly loves but that he learned only very few people are comfortable sharing. Ray sure is _very_ comfortable with it, he is what Tim would call a whole-hearted cuddler, and he has only met very few of those in his life, especially in men. Tim absolutely loves it.

It's been a long time since he felt so content and so thoroughly fucked in a most pleasant way as he does now. It's Saturday evening now and Tim's had more sex in the past fourteen hours than in the eight months before that, and on top of that it was freaking _amazing_ sex. Ray has this... what to call it? A talent? An innate understanding of Tim and what he needs and wants? He's just _so fucking good_ at giving Tim exactly what he's craving without Tim even having to actually say it, which is in and of itself a freaking amazing skill. Tim's well aware that he's not exactly easy to read and it's a mask he has honed for years, but it's like Ray can nevertheless read him with such ease that he's pre-emptively doing what Tim wants Ray to do to him. He's a freaking genius at pressing all the right buttons for Tim. He has never experienced that before, not in any of his relationships or hook-ups, be it with a man or a woman.

So first, this morning after their improvised omelette breakfast, he let Ray fuck him into oblivion, and Tim loved every second of it. He doesn't indulge in that particular pleasure all too often and it has been quite a while since he last allowed a guy to fuck him, but with Ray he never hesitated, not even for a second. Tim never had issues with bottoming because when done right it's freaking amazing and one of the most intense physical pleasures Tim has come across so far - and Ray certainly knows how to do it right. He left Tim in a state of completely blissed-out boneless satisfaction when they had both come, and that's something only very few people have managed so far. Tim may even admit that it ranges among the best sex he's experienced - because for whatever reason he totally trusts Ray to be able to handle him, and that allows Tim to let go in a way he usually never does. He's well aware that simply because of his training he's pretty much always the stronger partner, with men as well as with women, and the sense of responsibility that comes with that knowledge never quite leaves Tim. But Ray, he's a fucking Recon Marine, he can take whatever Tim throws at him, and there's a sense of relief in that certainty that made Tim let go and he allowed himself to hand the reins over to Ray and trust him to keep Tim safe in his moment of vulnerability. And his trust wasn't misplaced.

Tim doesn't understand why most guys think that wanting to get fucked makes them less of a man. It's a completely stupid, immature and pretty sexist notion in Tim's opinion, because quite frankly, it takes a lot more courage and guts to let somebody do that to you than to be the one doing it. He has made the mistake of bottoming with a guy he didn't trust _once_ when he let his dick overrule his brain, and that definitely changed how he views his female lovers and it also impacted on how he treats them during sex. He's always been mindful of his partners in bed, their pleasure is essential for him to enjoy their activities, not to mention that it's a huge turn-on for him, but that night taught him how easy it is for a guy to make something that's supposed to be fun rather unpleasant without even meaning to do so, just by not paying enough attention and not being considerate. It was quite the educational if not very nice experience, but in the end Tim is glad he got that kind of insight. He's sure that if all men made such an experience, their treatment of women would change for the better. 

Tim also profoundly dislikes the notion that everything associated with femininity is regarded as weak. Not only does he have an older sister who's absolutely kick-ass, but he was also there when she gave birth to his niece, and in addition to that Tim has served on the maternity ward in the course of his training. So he's been along for quite a number of births, which changed his outlook on many things. He's sure that every man who has ever witnessed a woman in labour will forever wonder how it's possible that _women_ are assumed to be the _weaker_ sex. Tim has seen them go through ten or more hours of unbelievable pain and still smile with nothing but joy when they first held their newborn. He's pretty sure that the level and the duration of pain that they went through during birth would qualify as the highest order of torture in a military context, worse even than what training prepares spec ops for - and those women do it _without_ training. Not to mention that his sister actually managed to break his hand with how tightly she squeezed it, and she's a rather petite woman. So much for being weak - in any sense of the word. 

No, there's nothing weak about being on the receiving end of intercourse, no matter whether you're male or female, and Tim has always enjoyed it whenever he had the right kind of partner for that activity - and he's not referring to his partner's gender here. Judging by the way Ray behaved during and after their rather steamy session this morning, he seemed to share that mindset, which Tim found proven correct later today. After another hour or two of post-coital sleep, they took a shower that resulted in Ray asking Tim to lift him up and fuck him pressed with his back against the wall of the shower stall - another fantasy of his that he'd had great pleasure recounting to Tim in such detail that Tim was already hard before they'd even entered the bathroom. Ray's a master of words when he wants to be, that much is certain.

By the time they left the shower it was already well past noon, and Tim decided to cook them some pasta with tomato sauce because that's something Ray had all the ingredients for. After lunch Tim went out to get some basic groceries while he ordered Ray to stay off his ankle, then they spent the rest of the day lazing around on the couch, making out, more or less watching a movie or two and just enjoying being close to each other. At some point they ended up spooning, their clothes having disappeared a while ago, and Ray pressed back into Tim until he got the message. Tim took his sweet time preparing Ray and working him with his fingers because Ray clearly loved that very much, and then Tim slid inside him and they moved together, slow and lazy and unhurried. It was comfortable and easy in a way Tim usually only knows from long-term relationships where the partners know each other inside out, and it left them both sated and spent in a most satisfying way. 

After Ray spent most of Friday evening and pretty much the entire Saturday off his right foot, his ankle has recovered enough that he can put some weight on it again, but Tim still insists that it remains bandaged. It was well enough, though, that after dinner Tim made Ray bend him over the breakfast counter and fuck his brains out - pity that there's no Humvee around right now, Tim would have been all for that. Now they're back in bed and Tim feels absolutely pleasantly sore and exhausted and deeply satisfied. He shifts a little and smiles contently when he feels the spots where Ray's hands held onto his hips with impressive force because Tim kept urging him on for _deeper_ and _harder_ because he just really likes it rough sometimes, and with Ray Tim didn't hesitate to ask for it. He genuinely hopes that he'll have little bruises in the shapes of Ray's fingertips on his skin. Just like he loves getting his neck caressed or his hair pulled or his ass touched, it's one of Tim's secret little quirks that he usually doesn't mention to his partners: He loves to be marked if it's by a person he trusts. 

Ever since he saw himself in the mirror after the shower Tim knows that he has a small bite mark on the right side of his neck which he assumes come from last hight, when Ray for the very first time bit his neck while Tim was carrying him home. The location certainly matches. He also has a rather large hickey across the collarbone about an inch below that bite mark, and there are a few red streaks all over his skin from where Ray held onto him throughout their multiple trysts. Tim wishes they'd never disappear because he fucking _loves_ it when those intimate marks show that he belongs to somebody without people knowing who that somebody is. 

It's again something he doesn't indulge in often, and it's been quite a while since he was last in a relationship where he genuinely _wanted_ his partner to mark him. But with Ray... fuck, that desire was almost instantaneous. Deep down in his gut Tim already knows that he trusts Ray pretty much completely, and it's in a very different and much more profound way than he normally trusts his Marine brothers. He's somewhat surprised by it because usually it takes him a considerable amount of time before he's willing to trust somebody like that. With Ray, though, there's not even a lingering trace of the wariness and guardedness that Tim's so familiar feeling in his relationships with other people. Tim can't rationally explain it, he doesn't know Ray well enough to have any reason for that kind of trust, yet it's there, and he has long ago learned to listen to his instincts. 'Strange' is probably the most appropriate word to describe his current situation.

Ray is... Tim's not sure he has the words. Ray is so much more than what Tim thought, than what he picked up on during their training and deployment, and he's a little disappointed in himself that he let himself be fooled by Ray's admittedly excellent façade. Tim's supposed to be better than that, he's supposed to be able to look behind the masks of the men because it's part of his job. He usually manages to do it, too, at least to the degree necessary for his job, but Ray certainly kept him in the dark about who he really is. Tim genuinely fell for the obnoxious buffoon act that Ray had going, and now he wonders how he could ever believe it. Because what Tim has seen of Ray since he carried him home from his paddle party paints quite a different picture than the one he had in his head based on the experiences of their deployment. 

What he already knew about Ray is that he's extremely intelligent, even if he seems to purposefully downplay that by how he's acting. But Tim is well aware that his rants alone - never mind how annoying they were - already take considerable intellect and skill and knowledge, especially since Ray came up with them on the fly and without any preparation or prior thought. Tim also realised early on that Ray's a genius with basically with anything that is a machine, be it the comm systems or the Humvees. Tim also already knew that Ray is very devoted to fulfil his responsibility to his brothers, despite his best efforts to come across like a reckless, immature clown - his level of stimulant consumption paired with his role as the driver of the point vehicle clued Tim in on that because he has seen it in other guys before. 

But in the other aspects of his personality Ray managed to make Tim fall for his act, which is a testament to how exceptional his skills are in that area - stealth, covertness, deflection, recon, observation, endurance, mental strength, reading people and playing them so that they only see what he wants them to see. And Tim is honest enough with himself to admit that without Ray's total lack of control over his mouth last night, it's unlikely that Tim would ever have managed to look behind his façade. Not if Ray didn't want him to. He managed to fool Tim for eight months, never let on in any way that he's in love with him, and Tim never picked up on it at all despite his own highly developed observation skills. 

Again Tim finds himself wondering if Brad _arranged_ for Tim to be the one to carry Ray home, if he saw it as the only opportunity to make Tim aware of what's going on. After all Ray said that Brad knows about Ray's feelings, and Brad certainly knows that Ray would never say a word about it when in control of his mouth, and that Ray planned to just let Tim leave after the paddle party and never talk of it again. Tim is aware that Brad and Ray are close friends and therefore it's likely that Brad's been exposed to Ray's pining for quite a while, even if Ray probably didn't voice it outright. And Brad also knows Tim well enough to be certain that Tim's neither cruel nor homophobic, that he would never hurt Ray on purpose for having feelings for him, even if Tim did _not_ return them. So maybe Brad decided to play matchmaker, or to just give Ray closure should things not work out the way Ray craved. Given the promise Brad extracted from Tim, this sounds like a plausible explanation - he made sure that no matter the outcome, no word would ever reach the outside world if Ray didn't want it to because Brad had sworn Tim to secrecy. Yeah, that doesn't sound like coincidence. Brad is way too organised for that, and Ray is right, he knows Ray well enough to have known what would happen if Ray was left alone with Tim in the state he was in last night. 

Seems Tim will really have to thank Brad for that. Because by now Tim has also understood that Ray's insecure about himself in a way Tim never would have guessed before. It's not that he doesn't trust in what he can do and what he has achieved as Recon Marine or that he's just as good as his fellow Marines, no, that's not it at all. It's that he doesn't believe that he can be loved and wanted just for who he is, without any of his bullshit. It baffles Tim, because Ray is so attentive and observant and he's caring and considerate to a very high degree - how can he doubt that he's good enough to be wanted for who he is? That he's so much more than just 'good enough'? But such feelings don't necessarily make sense in a rational way, they just exist. And Tim has a few completely irrational insecurities himself, so he certainly won't judge. His scars are one of them, and Ray sure noticed that this morning.

Tim has also learned that Ray is not just absolutely loyal to those he cares about and very protective of them, but that he's passionate about the things he loves and even more so about the people he loves. It still makes Tim feel a strange mixture of humbled, awed and overwhelmed to know that he is actually part of that group of people for Ray. It surprises Tim every single time again that he can read so easily that Ray is really, truly and completely in love with him. He can see it in Ray's actions, in how he puts Tim first in all those little ways that are so telling, in how much attention he pays to every little tell, in how he's so instinctively considerate like he was this morning when they first slept with each other. Tim can see Ray's feelings in the way he's looking at Tim, his beautiful brown eyes warm and soft and his smile so genuine and radiant in a way it isn't with other people, and certainly not around their Marine brothers. For the umpteenth time Tim wonders how is it possible that he spent eight months in Ray's immediate proximity and never noticed any of this.

Yeah, Tim admits, he could easily fall in love with Ray. Maybe he's even already doing that, if he's entirely honest with himself. It's been a while since Tim was in love the last time, but it's not a feeling you'd ever forget, and he sure recognises it lingering somewhere in his stomach. He's not quite certain when it first emerged, it might have been in the elevator last night when they were riding up to Ray's apartment and Ray wrapped his arms around him before he melted into Tim, already more than half asleep and completely trusting Tim to keep him upright. It was definitely already there when Tim called him a cuddly kitty this morning while he was trying to get Ray to come back to bed. And it's still there, unmistakably stronger than it was before, especially since Ray told him that he wants to know Tim's scars by heart right down to how they came to be.

It's a little bit scary how Tim finds it hard to imagine _not_ being around Ray, and that after just _one_ day. It's just... He loves their easy banter and how Ray never backs down, and even when they're teasing each other Tim feels so utterly comfortable and at peace around Ray in a way he rarely experiences. The only time he usually gets this feeling of peace is when he's out in nature on his own, when he's on a hike or a climbing tour, away from other people, away from the world. He can't remember feeling it in connection with another person before, not even in his serious long-term relationships. But with Ray it's there, and Tim enjoys it very much, it makes him feel safe and relaxed, and he treasures those sentiments because he has learned a long time ago to never take them for granted. Being with Ray is not something Tim is willing to give up, and that realisation scares him a little bit given how new this thing is. He doesn't even really know yet what that _thing_ actually is.

And on top of the way he makes Tim feel, Ray is also fucking _gorgeous_ with his beautiful large brown eyes, his mischievous smile and his strong body. Ray may be a bit too thin as a consequence of the strains of their deployment, he consists pretty much only of bones and muscles, but his lean strength is such a turn-on for Tim, same as his competence and his perfect control of his body and the fact that he can manhandle Tim and doesn't hesitate to do it when Tim wants him to. At the same time he's also always mindful of Tim as he demonstrated when he fucked Tim this morning, and his appreciation for cuddling is something Tim loves _so very much_. It surprises Tim, but Ray's perfect for him, and he never even knew it because he didn't manage to see Ray for who he is. Fuck, he _really_ owes Brad.

If anybody had told Tim two days ago that he would feel this way about _Ray Person_ , he would have declared them insane - and it's not because Ray's not his type. Tim doesn't actually have a specific type, neither in women nor it men, he usually finds a body attractive for the personality it holds, not the other way round. Of course that already makes certain outer markers inattractive to him because they stand for a personality he's not going to like. In women that means that he doesn't go for the very articifical and over-the-top decked out ones that resemble a Barbie doll more than an actual human being. Tim likes women who are with both feet firmly on the ground, who are independent, intelligent and strong and look natural and real, who challenge him and match him step for step, who like taking charge but also cherish letting go. It doesn't matter what hair or skin colour they have or if they're tall or small, big or skinny, conventionally pretty or not - it's their spirit that makes them attractive to him, and he's had girlfriends of all kinds of looks before.

With men it's a little different nowadays for the simple reason that Tim has to be careful due to his job and DADT. Before he enlisted he had several boyfriends and even more hook-ups - he was never really in the closet because he doesn't believe in limiting himself and he's always been more than willing to take on anybody who has a problem with that, physically and intellectually speaking. Just like with women he doesn't have a type with men either. He goes for pretty much the same qualities as in women, he likes his men strong, independent and intelligent, without any kind of macho posing that makes them appear like immature, insecure youngsters who have not yet learned to stand up for who they are. Tim's not willing to deal with guys who aren't genuinely confident in who they are and who feel that being attracted to other guys is a weakness or in any way shameful. Tim's had men who are taller than him and others who were smaller, some who were genuinely built and others who were very slim. He's had boyfriends with long hair and with buzz cuts, with various kinds of beard and clean shaven, with any kind of skin and hair colour. He genuinely doesn't care about such irrelevant attributes, it's the _person_ inside the body who makes it attractive to him.

But since he enlisted he hasn't had anything that would even come close to a relationship with a man because it's too complicated, too dangerous for him and on top of that absolutely unfair to a potential partner to submit him to the harsh, unjust consequences of having a boyfriend who's subject to DADT. There have been hook-ups here and there when Tim could be sure that it wouldn't endanger his job, but so far he's never had anything with a Recon Marine, especially not one he served with - they were always firmly off-limits, a rule he set up when he enlisted. Too dangerous, too risky, too many complications should Tim genuinely fall for that person or the other way round. 

So, no Recon Marines. _Ever_. And Tim abided by that rule despite the odd temptation or offer he got - until now, that is, he thinks when he caresses the soft skin of Ray's sides and back. Well, technically Ray's out of the Corps now, but it's not like anybody ever _truly_ stops being a Marine, so it's also kind of against this fundamental rule - but Tim finds he doesn't care. They won't ever serve together again, so he will cut himself some slack in this specific case.

Tim's glad that he's on leave right now, because the way Ray keeps him in a state of constant arousal at the moment means that he'd have great problems concentrating on work. They haven't spoken about this thing between them since the conversation this morning, and neither have they made any plans on how to continue after today, but Tim has already decided that he'll stay with Ray until he kicks him out. Tim has by now accepted that he doesn't want to leave, he wants time to get to know Ray for real, because Tim can tell already that there are vast parts of Ray that he never even got a glimpse of. He wants to stay close to Ray and feel his strong, lean body against him, he wants to kiss Ray for hours on end and touch him all over until he knows his body by heart, he wants to fuck Ray again and he wants Ray to fuck him some more because it was so freaking amazing and Tim hasn't enjoyed himself so much in a long time. 

"Tim?" Ray mumbles against Tim's neck, his voice interrupting Tim's wandering thoughts.

"Hmm?" Tim doesn't bother to open his eyes, he just remains where he is, comfortably lying on his back with Ray still stretched out on top of him and resting with his head on Tim's chest, his hair gently tickling Tim's throat and jaw. Tim's hands are still playing lazily over the skin of Ray's back, right now he's tracing the edge of his shoulder blades. They protrude sharply, and Tim's already thinking about what he will feed Ray next to make him gain some of the weight back that he lost on deployment. He's a little distracted by Ray's fingers that he can feel stroking slowly over his sides, it's almost bordering on tickling him, but he doesn't want Ray to stop.

"Can I ask you something?" Ray's voice is suspiciously quiet and hesitant.

Tim opens his eyes because Ray asking that is odd. He also sounds a little unsure and maybe even nervous, which is not at all like him and tells Tim right away that this is a conversation he needs to be alert for. Tim makes sure to keep stroking his hands up and down Ray's back in a slow, reassuring touch. "Sure, Josh."

Ray shifts his arms to cross them over Tim's chest, then he rests his chin on his arms and looks down at Tim, his brown eyes big and indeed a little nervous. Damn, they're beautiful. Tim could get lost in them. Maybe Ray does have a point with his claim of having killer kitty eyes.

"Are you gay?"

Tim cocks an eyebrow in surprise because that's _not_ the kind of question he expected. "No. Bi."

"Yeah, me too." Ray remarks still in that quiet voice. "You've done this before, haven't you?"

"Slept with guys, you mean?" Tim asks without ever stopping his caress of Ray's back.

Ray nods.

"Yeah, I have. I'm not exactly new to this." Tim smirks. "I'm pretty sure you could tell."

"Yeah." Ray chuckles and Tim loves the way he can feel the sound in his own body where Ray is resting on his chest. Ray keeps looking at Tim from where his chin is perched on his arms and he turns serious again, and Tim watches how he's biting his bottom lip. 

"Do you..." Ray trails off before he finishes his question, but Tim can read in his eyes what he's thinking as clearly as if Ray had said the words aloud. 

Tim could tell that Ray was surprised this morning when Tim was completely on board with his remarkably careful - yet not exactly subtle - suggestion that he wanted to fuck Tim. He could tell that Ray didn't expect Tim to agree to it at all, never mind give into it the way he did. Now Ray looks uncertain, as if he doesn't dare to ask the questions that are clearly bouncing around his head, because he's not sure what the answer will be. Tim will admit that it's understandable given how short their time together has been so far. It doesn't feel like it to Tim, but it's only been a day, and Ray certainly is well aware that he laid himself bare way more than Tim did. He _told_ Tim that he's in love with him and has been for months, while Tim has so far only admitted to the fact that he wants Ray for more than one night. But that could mean physical attraction or fuck buddies, after all Tim said nothing about how he feels about Ray, so of course Ray feels vulnerable and insecure. 

When Ray continues speaking he's clearly still not sure how to ask for what he really wants to know, so he settles for, "Are you always this passionate?"

"No, I'm not." Tim replies frankly, because it's true - and because he again understands what Ray is really asking. _Why did you - a clear alpha male - give yourself to me - a guy - like that? Do you always do that or was it because it was me?_

_Do you want me like I want you?_

"Okay." Ray bites his lip, and Tim can clearly read that he wants to ask more but doesn't quite dare to. Tim doesn't like seeing Ray so insecure, as if he's expecting to be rejected any second, as if he's expecting _Tim_ to hurt him real bad. Maybe it's time that Tim lets him know where he stands. He owes Ray that much honesty given how frank Ray was with him - even if it was due to intoxication. So Tim moves his hands up Ray's sides and along his arms up to his face. He touches his hands to Ray's cheeks and gently traces his fingertips over Ray's skin, never looking away.

"It takes trust for me to let go like that." Tim says in a quiet but firm voice and makes sure to hold Ray's gaze so that he understands what Tim didn't say. _It takes trust for me to allow a guy to top and to show him how much I enjoy it, and I trust you_. He can read in Ray's eyes that he's beginning to understand but still doesn't quite believe it, so Tim decides to spell it out for him. Maybe he needs to hear Tim say the actual words. "I trust you, Josh."

Ray's eyes widen and Tim can see that he understands the significance of what Tim just said. They may not have had a lot of personal contact with each other since Tim joined Bravo Two, but considering how good an observer Ray is and how much he must have watched Tim over the past eight months, Tim's pretty sure that Ray knows that Tim doesn't trust easily, and that it's even rarer for him to tell somebody as explicitly as he's doing right now with Ray. For a moment Ray keeps staring at him almost like transfixed, then he blurts, "Why?" 

Tim finds it strangely adorable that Ray seems to have this habit around Tim of speaking before filtering what he's saying, and usually those words are the plain, uncensored truth about what Ray's thinking and feeling. He's done that more than once since they woke up this morning, and Tim noticed how Ray always began to freak out internally as soon as he realised what he'd said. His eyes would get wide and panicky, and Tim could see his thoughts begin to spiral out of control at the speed of light. The same thing is happening right now, and Tim decides to put an end to it before Ray can get lost in whatever horror scenarios his mind is coming up with. 

"I trust you, Josh, because you spent _eight months_ paying attention to me, and you managed to look behind my masks, and yet you never tried to use the knowledge you gained. Instead you planned on just walking away and never letting me know because you thought knowing about your feelings would be a bother to me." Ray is staring at Tim with his mouth agape and there's a gentle blush coming to his cheeks. He looks stunned and seems unable to speak, and Tim feels oddly proud to be one of the few people who managed to stun Ray into speechlessness. "I trust you because despite what you're trying to make the world believe, you're genuinely decent, and I can tell that you don't judge me. I trust you because I _know_ , in that place where my instincts live, that you won't hurt me because you honestly care about me."

Tim swallows hard and decides to put his cards on the table in the same way Ray already did. There's a little nervous flutter in the corner of Tim's stomach and he has to pass his tongue over his bottom lip before he can speak. "I trust you because you _saw me_ \- scars, ugly sides and all - and you still fell in love with me. And now... after last night, after spending time with you today and getting to _see you_ , I'm well on my way to falling in love with you, too." 

Ray stares at him with awe in his beautiful big brown eyes - yes, he _does_ have killer kitty eyes, Tim decides - and Tim simply holds his gaze. He has never seen Ray look so vulnerable before, with hope and fear warring for dominance in his eyes. His mouth is still agape and the blush on his cheeks has grown stronger and makes him look absolutely gorgeous. Tim really wants to kiss him, but he holds back because this is not the right moment, he has to give Ray the time he needs to sort through the bomb Tim just dropped on him. He can only imagine what it must do to Ray to hear Tim say those words after Ray's been pining away for months on end entirely convinced that there was no chance in hell of something _ever_ happening between them. It's bound to be somewhat of an emotional rollercoaster. 

"You're not kidding, are you?" Ray's voice is rough and very quiet and he's frowning as if he really wants to believe it but doesn't quite dare yet. Tim wonders what kind of bad experiences he made that he has such trouble believing that somebody might _genuinely_ want him and love him.

"Not about that." Tim gently shakes his head and keeps looking Ray in the eye while he continues stroking his fingertips over Ray's cheeks and neck. "Never about that."

" _Fuck._ " Ray gasps and looks at Tim like he's more than a little overwhelmed by the direction this conversation has taken - or maybe this entire weekend.

"I thought we did that already. Four times since we woke up, in fact." Tim remarks with a smirk because he wants to ease the tension in the atmosphere and because it's kind of becoming an inside joke with them. He lets his right hand travel down Ray's sides and over his back until he can cup his gorgeous firm ass. "Not that I'm in any way opposed to doing it again, but I have to tell you that I don't think that I can get it up again already. I _am_ seven years older than you, after all, and old men need more time to recuperate."

That makes Ray snort. "I have no complaints about your performance so far, _old man_. And I can't get it up yet either, so I guess we're good."

"Good to know." Tim smirks and uses his left hand on Ray's jaw to make him lean down so that he can nibble on Ray's bottom lip. "Oh, and you might be interested to know that another reason why I let go with you is that I wanted to know what it feels like to be claimed by you."

"And?" Ray's voice is barely above a hoarse whisper and he makes no attempt to move back from where Tim's gently working Ray's bottom lip with his teeth and tongue.

"I loved it." Tim's tone is warm and rough, and he only lets go of Ray's lip long enough to speak. "And I want you to do it again in the future. _Many_ times."

Tim feels the shiver that runs through Ray's body at his words, and he hears the low gasp that leaves Ray's mouth as much as he feels it against his own lips. It's a profoundly satisfying reaction and it makes a slow warmth spread in Tim's belly. 

"Fuck, now I _really_ wish I could get it up again." Ray's voice is deliciously hoarse when he's speaking, and then he bends down and licks into Tim's mouth with his gorgeous skilled tongue. Tim smirks into their kiss and indulges in Ray's thorough exploration of his mouth while he lets both of his hands trail up and down Ray's back. Yeah, Tim can _definitely_ fall in love with him.

When Ray pulls back again he raises his head enough so that he can look at Tim, and the way his eyes are dark with desire when they trail over Tim's face feels like a physical caress. Tim smiles at him, unable not to. "How about we get some sleep, it'll make us regain our strength even faster."

"I'm not tired yet." Ray objects, and right on cue he has to yawn. 

Tim chuckles. "Josh, we had quite extensive, physically demanding sex _four times_ today after a night of little sleep and way too much to drink. I think it's fair to say that we both could need the rest, and your body clearly agrees with me even if your mind may not."

Ray pouts and harrumphs, but before he can contradict Tim he's overcome with another yawn. Tim smirks and pulls the covers up over Ray's shoulders from where they've slipped down to his waist in the course of their cuddling session. Tim himself doesn't really need the covers for the simple reason that Ray's still lying on top of him and fulfils his role of a human blanket perfectly. 

"Okay." Ray agrees when he's done yawning, then he uncrosses his arms to move them back to Tim's sides again when he rests his head on Tim's chest. Tim closes his arms around him and presses a soft kiss to the top of his head.

"Sleep, my cuddly kitty." Tim mutters into Ray's hair with a smirk, and he can feel Ray's gentle purr against his chest as much as he can hear it. To his surprise Ray really falls asleep within a few minutes, and Tim allows himself to relax and drift off himself. 

When Tim wakes again the morning sun is drawing a warm pattern on the bed and Tim's naked body, giving the room a friendly and welcoming atmosphere. He can't feel Ray anywhere close to him, so Tim turns his head to look around and finds the bed empty. He lets his hand wander over the sheets but they're cool to the touch, so Ray must have been gone for a while already. Tim stretches his entire body until he feels his joints pop satisfyingly, a content smile on his lips. He feels relaxed and rested in a way he hasn't experienced in a while, and it's a very pleasant way to feel first thing in the morning. 

Tim relaxes again and looks around the room from where he's still lounging in Ray's very comfortable bed. He's surprised to realise that he likes Ray's apartment, the way it feels real and lived in and reflects so much of its owner. In the bedroom as well as in the living room there are shelves bending under the weight of all the books that live in them. By the desk there are several plastic boxes that Tim noticed yesterday contain neatly named compartments with electronic parts and components. There's an acoustic guitar in a stand and an electric guitar on a wall hanger, and Tim has spotted something that looks like a saxophone case in the corner, not to mention an Irish tin whistle that he's really curious to hear Ray play at some point. Ray keeps his place surprisingly neat, there's no stuff lying around anywhere but on the desk, and even his clothes are neatly folded, which Tim contributes to his time in the Marine Corps. 

That thought makes Tim look at the chair where they put their clothes last night. Ray's shoes are gone from their spot next to Tim's, and so are Ray's clothes. Hmm, whatever Ray's up to, it requires decent clothing. Time to find out what exactly that is.

Tim gets up and decides that boxers are sufficient to walk around Ray's apartment, so he helps himself to a clean pair from Ray's closet because he really doesn't want to put on his own again. He's not really surprised that there's a wide selection of very colourful boxer shorts in Ray's underwear drawer, many of them with prints that range from funny to obscene to ridiculous. Tim has to look around for a while until he finds something he's willing to actually put on, because he refuses to have Homer Simpson holding a peeled banana covering his dick. And he won't be caught dead wearing that thing with an elephant head printed on the front and the trunk actually _extending_ in front of it to be filled by the wearer's dick. He's not sure he wants to know why Ray even owns that monstrosity. 

In the end Tim settles for a black pair with a small squirrel printed on one leg along with the words 'I love those nuts' - it's the most unadorned piece he could find in the entire drawer. He pulls the boxers on - they're a bit on the tight side since he's broader than Ray, but they'll do - before he walks out of the bedroom and over to the living room. When he enters he first notices that Ray's shoes are sitting neatly next to the couch and there's a messenger bag next to them, the flap closed only haphazardly. When Tim looks around he finds Ray moving around in the kitchen, setting the breakfast counter. He's wearing a plain grey t-shirt that is too big on his slim frame and that Tim immediately recognises as his, the one he wore to the paddle party on Friday. He's absolutely certain that Ray didn't pick it up by accident, and at that realisation something hot and unmistakably possessive curls in Tim's stomach. _Fuck_ , he _loves_ seeing Ray in his clothes. 

"Morning, my sleepy puppy." Ray grins at Tim before he makes a gesture at the counter. "It's my turn to feed you, so I got us bagels, muffins, smoothies and of course some real nice coffee while you were still sleeping off the exertion of yesterday's activities."

Tim is still stuck on the fact that Ray openly called him 'my sleepy puppy', and he gets the feeling that the puppy nickname is going to stick. He's never really been the recipient of cute nicknames in his relationships and he's not particularly prone to using them either, yet he has already affectionately called Ray his cuddly kitty on several occasions - and the first time was long before anything ever happened between them. Huh. Interesting.

Ray comes out of the kitchen when he's done setting the counter to his satisfaction, and he leans in and places a quick kiss to Tim's lips on his way past him to the couch, where he grabs his shoes and the messenger bag before he turns back to grin at Tim. "Sit down and drink that delicious coffee I got you. I'll just put my stuff in the bedroom, then we'll eat."

Tim is still staring after him when Ray has already disappeared down the hallway. _Now_ he's stuck on the fact that Ray just gave him the most domestic kiss there is - that unthinking, instinctive peck that's usually reserved to long-term couples that have long since settled into a routine. Huh. Also very interesting. 

Tim decides to follow Ray's advice and drink some of that delicious coffee that he can smell even in the living room. Maybe that'll make his brain work more efficiently, because right now Tim feels like he's a bit overwhelmed by... well, everything. It's not that he doesn't like it - he does - it's just a lot to take in first thing in the morning when he still feels sore from the generous amount of fucking they engaged in yesterday. He loves that sore feeling a lot, but it's strange to experience it in combination with domestic good morning pecks and shared breakfast. Tim hasn't actually woken up feeling well-fucked to find the guy still there in the morning in over five years. This is different from what he got used to, and he knows already that it's nothing like the hook-ups he has maintained since he enlisted. Ray is not some hook-up for him, that much is certain. 

Tim is sitting at his spot at the counter sipping the admittedly awesome coffee when it strikes him that there actually _is_ a spot at Ray's breakfast counter that is _his_. Before he can give it any more thought Ray comes back into the kitchen still wearing Tim's t-shirt over his cargo shorts and looking so fucking comfortable in it that Tim feels that possessive _something_ curl in his stomach again. It only grows stronger when above the collar of the t-shirt Tim spots the hickey he left on the side of Ray's neck yesterday morning when they were doing the dishes. Yeah, Ray's _nothing_ like his usual hook-ups. Tim doesn't get possessive over hook-ups.

Ray stops when he's standing next to Tim's high stool. "Are you wearing my boxers?"

"Yeah." Tim confirms, straight to the point and completely unapologetically. He wants to know how Ray reacts to that.

Ray licks his lips and lets his eyes wander up and down Tim's body before he catches his gaze. "Fuck, that's _so hot_."

Tim smirks at him over the rim of the coffee cup. "Just like you wearing my t-shirt is hot." 

Tim's not sure if he's imagining the gentle flush in Ray's cheeks when he says, "Oh, you noticed that?"

Tim just cocks an eyebrow in reply.

"Okay, stupid question." Ray waves his hand dismissively and then sits down opposite of Tim at the counter. He makes no attempt to explain why he's wearing Tim's t-shirt nor does he show any intention of taking it off, and Tim hides his pleased smile behind his cup. Ray takes his own mug as soon as he has sat down and drinks his coffee with open relish, then they both eat the rich food selection Ray bought for their Sunday breakfast. Tim enjoys the interesting conversation they have about Ray's plans for the future now that he's out of the Corps, and Tim takes even more pleasure in the easy banter that they maintain all throughout breakfast. It feels familiar and domestic in a way is has no reason to be given that it's actually their first Sunday breakfast together, but Tim nevertheless enjoys every second of it.

"You want to come with me to Brad's to get my paddle?" Ray asks when they've finished eating and Ray has left his side of the counter in favour of standing between Tim's spread legs. It's a spot he seems to like quite a lot.

Tim can tell that Ray's making an effort to sound and appear casual, as if this question is nothing but a friendly invitation to join him in an errand. But Tim understands that it's way more than that - if they show up together at Brad's place, Brad will know about them, there's no doubt about that in Tim's mind. That in itself could be regarded as a huge risk because Brad and Tim are both on active duty and DADT certainly applies in Tim's case. He's not really worried about that, though, because he's absolutely certain that Brad would never do something like ratting out a fellow serviceman due to his sexual orientation. Not just because he's not that kind of guy, but also because he cares a great deal about Ray no matter how it may appear to outsiders, and Tim can't imagine that he would on purpose hurt Ray like that. 

There's also this weird urge deep inside Tim to have _somebody_ to know about them, he wants to claim Ray as _his_ outside the walls of the apartment as well. He knows he can't do it in the way he wants to because of fucking DADT, but he can do it in a subtle way that only very few select people are able to understand - and Brad _will_ understand it.

"Yeah, I want to come with you." Tim leans in and places a lingering kiss to Ray's temple, a wordless way of letting him know that he understands the scope of Ray's question. He feels Ray relax under his hands where they're resting on his hips, which tells Tim that he did the right thing. 

"Brad will know." Ray points out with a serious gaze as if he wants to give Tim an out if he wants it. It's a kind of consideration that Tim's beginning to love about him, this subtle way of making sure that Tim doesn't unwittingly end up in something more than he expected, even if that something more is exactly what Ray himself wants. It shows Tim that Ray genuinely cares about him because he puts Tim first, it shows him that it's important to Ray to do right by Tim, even if it's not what Ray wants. If Tim had any doubts left about how Ray feels about him, this would have erased them.

"I'm aware." Tim replies firmly and he's rewarded with a huge smile coming to Ray's face, an expression of genuine and profound joy that Tim wants to see more often. 

"You don't mind?" Ray asks while his fingers are playing almost nervously over the bare skin of Tim's sides.

"To the contrary." Tim leans in so that he can nip the shell of Ray's ear before he says in a low voice, "I want somebody to know that you're mine."

Ray shivers, and Tim's not sure whether it's because of his touch or his words. He hears Ray take a deep breath and feels his hands wandering down to settle rather possessively on the small of Tim's back. "I think you meant to say that _you_ are _mine_."

Tim chuckles and nips his ear again, all the while pressing into the hands on his back. "Works for me."

"Damn, I'm _so_ lucky." Ray mumbles under his breath, then he turns his head to claim Tim's mouth while his hands are wandering down to grip Tim's ass as much as is possible while he's sitting on the stool. Tim can't quite suppress the groan that's rising in his throat because _fuck_ , Ray sure knows how to touch his ass in order to drive him insane. He returns the kiss eagerly and meets Ray's tongue with the same enthusiasm that Ray's displaying. Tim absolutely loves kissing Ray, he's so passionate and skilled and clearly enjoys kissing as much as Tim does, which is such a huge turn-on for Tim. He could spend hours just kissing Ray without ever getting bored.

"When do you want to head over to Brad's?" Tim forces himself to pull back enough to ask that question because it allows him to establish what the options are right now - if there's enough time for another round of mind-blowing sex or not. He really hopes there is. 

"He told me to be there by 10 am." Ray replies before he's back to kissing Tim.

"That's in less than half an hour." Tim says a minute or two later, he can't quite tell how much time has passed. All he knows is that it takes an almost inhuman effort to peel himself away from Ray's mouth long enough to speak. "I should get dressed."

"Hmmm." Ray hums into Tim's mouth because he has already claimed Tim's lips again and his body is pressed all along Tim's. Tim has shifted forward on the stool to the point that his growing erection is very pleasantly rubbing against Ray's stomach, and Ray's hands have by now found their way underneath his boxers and have pushed between his ass and the stool to get a good grip on him. _Fuck yes_ , Tim knows what he wants to do now, and going over to Brad's place is _not_ it.

Tim pulls back and forces himself to be the voice of reason. "Josh..." 

"Hmm?" Ray is now licking along Tim's throat, and that is _so fucking distracting_ , which he's sure Ray knows perfectly well. For a minute Tim loses his train of thought and tilts his head to the side so that Ray has better access. It's only when Ray nips his collarbone that he remembers what he needs to say and do. 

"I need to get dressed if you want to get over to Brad's on time." Tim presses out, his hands still pulling Ray closer instead of pushing him away like he knows he should be doing if he really means it. 

"Really?" Ray bites the side of Tim's neck and Tim can't for the life of him suppress the full-body shiver that goes through him. He's well aware of the grin on Ray's face at his strong reaction because he can feel it against his skin. "I think we could spend the time so much better with you fucking me, Tim. Oh, and I have this plan where you make me come with only your fingers in my ass, no touching my dick at all. I can already feel your long slender fingers rubbing against my prostate, completely driving me insane..."

"No time." Tim groans and even to his own ears he sounds tortured. He really just wants to give into Ray's suggestion, but he knows better than to stand up Brad, even if technically it'll be Ray standing him up, not Tim. "Later."

Ray licks a long, lazy swipe up Tim's neck and Tim can't help leaning into it. "Promise?"

"On my life." Tim hears himself groan, and he _fuck_ if he doesn't mean it. Ray's going to be the death of him.

"Okay then, go get dressed." Ray says magnanimously and steps back enough to let Tim slip off the high stool. He pointedly looks at the erection that is tenting Tim's boxers before he gives Tim a warning gaze. "And no jerking off, I want you to suffer the same case of blue balls that I have to endure."

One quick glance confirms that he's indeed hard, even if the fabric of his cargo shorts hides it a lot better than the thin cotton of Tim's boxers. Tim catches his eyes and nods his agreement before he goes to the bedroom to get dressed. Oh yes, this is going to be a very unpleasant case of blue balls. But the reward will be worth it - Tim's already making plans on how he'll drive Ray out of his mind with pleasure without ever touching his dick. Tim's _very_ good at stimulating the prostate, and he'll enjoy bringing Ray right up to the edge time and again without letting him pass over until Ray's sobbing with the need to come. Oh yes, _so_ worth the wait. 

When Tim gets to the bedroom he frowns in confusion when he finds a neatly folded piece of dark purple fabric sitting purposefully on top of his black cargo shorts - with a white gift ribbon around it, complete with a little bow. Tim is a little surprised, but his mind immediately flickers back to the conversation they had yesterday morning when Ray found him in the kitchen wearing that hideous and ridiculous apron. When Ray had said that he'd gift Tim something purple, Tim really hadn't expected him to actually follow through with it. It had pretty much slipped his mind already - but obviously not Ray's.

Tim first puts on his pants, then he carefully pulls the ribbon off his surprise gift and unfolds the fabric. It's a t-shirt, plain with no print, and Tim has to admit that the rich dark purple is actually a very nice colour. Not something he would have picked out himself, mostly because he tends to stick to more muted colours like grey, khaki or black out of habit more than anything else. But this... Tim feels the fabric between his fingers, it's thin and soft, perfect for the hot Californian summer, and he smiles before he slips the t-shirt over his head. It fits perfectly. 

Tim turns towards the mirror mounted on the door of Ray's closet and has to admit that the t-shirt looks pretty good on him, the colour as well as the fit. It's a little on the tight side, but not too much, more like Ray chose it on purpose so that it would hug Tim's torso enough to show off his physique without looking like it's a size too small. And the colour _really_ brings out Tim's eyes in a way he never observed before - Ray wasn't kidding about that, Tim realises in amazement. Yeah, Ray certainly has an eye for style, and while that's not something Tim expected, he certainly approves of it. 

Tim smiles at himself in the mirror and passes his hands over the fabric. It's a different kind of mark than the hickey or the bites he can see on the side of his neck, it's a mark that nobody but Tim and Ray can possibly understand. Tim finds himself liking it a lot and at the same time he's a little astonished that he does. He can't remember that he has ever felt so at ease around somebody so quickly, and he's certainly never been this comfortable with somebody claiming him like that after a mere few days. But with Ray he not only doesn't mind, he actively _enjoys_ it. Seems being with Ray is full of firsts for him. 

With one last glance at the mirror Tim heads over to the living room where Ray is sitting on one of the high stools at the breakfast counter. He looks up when Tim comes in and his gaze travels up and down Tim's body in a way that feels like a caress.

"Looking good." Ray says with a smirk, but Tim can read the relief in his posture. He was nervous about this, Tim suddenly realises, and for some reason it makes something warm curl in his belly. He's well aware that for Ray being in love with Tim isn't new, he's had months to live with it and get used to it. Yet despite what happened between them since the wee hours of Saturday morning Ray doesn't take it for granted that Tim feels the same way and to Tim it seems that he's considerate of the fact that for Tim this thing is not even two days old.

"Thank you." Tim walks over to Ray and remains standing between his spread legs. He puts his hands on Ray's thighs and slowly rubs his thumbs over the fabric of Ray's cargo shorts. "When did you manage to get that without me noticing?"

Ray shrugs and it looks like he's feeling a little sheepish. "This morning. I saw it in the store when I went to grab breakfast, and well, it seemed too much of a lucky coincidence to pass up on... After all, I promised that I would gift you something purple."

Tim leans in and touches his lips to Ray's, more a caress than a kiss. He lingers for a moment, then he parts his lips enough to pass his tongue over Ray's bottom lip in a teasing but lazy movement. Ray makes a lovely little sound in the back of his throat and then he opens his mouth and meets Tim's tongue with his. It's sensual and unhurried in a way that Tim loves and that he has enjoyed with Ray pretty much since this whole thing between them started. 

Tim pulls back to rest his forehead against Ray's, his hands now cradling Ray's jaw while Ray's hands have come to rest on Tim's waist - _underneath_ the t-shirt. "Thank you, Josh. I like it a lot."

"Glad to hear that." Ray grins, but there's a genuinely pleased note to it. "And by the way, you look freaking hot in that t-shirt. I very much appreciate how it fits." 

Tim chuckles. "You have an excellent eye for size."

Ray's fingers trail over Tim's waist, his fingernails a gentle scratch that makes goose bumps spread over Tim's skin. "Well, I have to make sure that my man looks good, now, don't I?"

Tim feels a shiver run down his back at Ray calling him 'my man', and it's not out of repulsion. No, quite the contrary - fuck, he _really_ loves it how Ray's claiming him, and what's wrong with him that he's willing to accept that after barely two days? And let's be honest here, he's not just accepting it, no, he's _actively encouraging_ it - by wearing this t-shirt, by letting go of all restraint when he's sleeping with Ray, by never even thinking about refuting Ray's claims. By asking his next question. "So I'm your man?"

Ray hesitates and Tim feels him swallow hard where his hands are resting on Ray's neck. "If you want to be."

"I'm _choosing_ to wear your gift, Josh. _Your mark_." Tim pulls back enough that he can look Ray in the eye to make his point perfectly clear, because he can tell that Ray's insecurity is raising its ugly head again. "So, yeah, I want to be."

A breath leaves Ray with a little huff and a smile comes to his lips that reaches his eyes and makes them glow warm with contentment. He suddenly relaxes under Tim's hands, all the tension leaving his frame like a burden lifted off his shoulders. He closes his arms around Tim's waist and pulls him into a tight embrace right there where he's still sitting on the high stool. Tim doesn't hesitate to lean into it, and he feels Ray's legs framing his hips, his face resting on Tim's chest. Ray melts into Tim's arms with a kind of boneless relaxed trust that Tim is sure he wasn't shown before, not quite like this. He can almost feel Ray's relief and happiness in his touch, and Tim wraps his arms around Ray. He holds him as close as physically possible, and he feels a profound sense of peace and comfort enfold him at Ray's intimate, trusting closeness. 

So, seems like Tim's in a relationship now. Not what he expected to happen when he let Brad talk him into carrying Ray home, but he finds that he genuinely wouldn't want it any other way.

**Author's Note:**

> So, did you like it? I have a fifth part from Brad's POV in the works. You interested?


End file.
